Showing posts with label foot pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foot pain. Show all posts

Sunday, October 13, 2013

A reason to celebrate


I am celebrating today!  

Ever since I had lisfranc surgery  my mantra has been, 
"I am just a middle class housewife who wants to be able to walk down her driveway and get her mail."

This dream doesn't sound unattainable until you realize our driveway is not a short driveway with a mailbox at the end.  Nope.   Our mailbox is located exactly 1/10 of a mile from our garage door and our house is perched on top of an immensely steep hill, which makes it perfect for sledding in the winter. 

walking a hill after lisfranc surgery


My physical therapist and I discussed the possibility that I may be ready to take on "the driveway challenge" and he ultimately gave me permission to try walking up our driveway and see how that goes, before trying the harder challenge of walking down the driveway.
Walking up a hill during lisfranc recovery


So, after coming home from church today, I had my husband drop me off at our mailbox so that I could make my first attempt at my driveway dream.  I knew that if I ran into trouble, my husband would come down and pick me up.  My taxi ride may be on his John Deere instead of in a car, but at least I knew I had a ride if need be.


Pain free while climbing a hill 22 weeks after lisfranc surgery


I was apprehensive, wondering if my foot was physically able to make the climb, and I was also curious if scaling the hill would cause pain.

22 weeks post lisfranc surgery and walking up a hill

After managing the steepest part of the journey, I knew I was going to make it all the way to the top AND I made it 
PAIN FREE!!!

Next challenge---walking down my driveway!



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Foot Envy at 17 weeks post lisfranc surgery


For the last few weeks I have found myself obsessed with people's feet.  Not in a foot fetish sort of way, but in an all out "I can't believe how easily they walk" sort of way. 

I watch my grandson's feet as he easily hops off his bed. I watch my husband's feet as he walks around our house. I watch runners feet and notice how far they can bend their entire foot.   


At stop signs, I watch the people walking their dogs, laughing with whomever they are with and think "Look how easily that person walks without even thinking about it!"

At restaurants, I notice young women wearing 4 plus inch heels and find myself thinking "that is a lisfranc fracture waiting to happen."  


Instead of looking at the shelves of food at the grocery store, I find myself watching other shoppers  feet and notice their gait.  I am even noticing if people need new shoes and especially note when someone is wearing brand new shoes!


I see sandals of all shapes and wonder if my foot will ever wear such cute shoes again.

I feel so much foot envy that it is driving me crazy!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Ready to take on the 2nd half of my lisfranc journey

Yesterday, my husband and I attended the Global Leadership Summit and one of the speakers we heard was Dr. Henry Cloud.  Dr. Cloud is a famous  psychologist who wrote the 4 million best seller "Boundaries." 

 http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454  


His topic yesterday was taken from his newest book, "Boundaries for Leaders."  While the topic specifically targeted C level people (CEO's, CFO's etc) I couldn't help but apply his ideas to my lisfranc recovery situation.  

I realized that after hearing my surgeon tell me I still had 3 more months of recovery in front of me my sadness and grief came from a sense of loss of control.  After all, I was taught that A + B = C.  In my reality, that would mean therapy plus ice/elevation = healing.  My thought was the harder I worked, the better outcome I would have.  I never considered the one thing I couldn't control......healing.  Bones take time to heal.  That is something I cannot speed up, no matter how much therapy I do.  And I cannot control the amount of pain I have either as my foot continues to adjust to the titanium plate drilled into my foot. 

The loss of control is what started my downward spiral in attitude on Tuesday.  Did you know that when you start the attitude spiral decent that your actual brain starts to change?  Dr. Cloud explained his theory of the 3 P's:

Personal:  A negative attitude causes the brain to interpret the situation in a personal way.  In my case my negative thoughts started telling me I'm not good enough or that I haven't worked hard enough to "earn" pain free walking.

Pervasive: A negative attitude causes the brain to interpret the situation as all encompassing.  In my case my negative thoughts include saying my whole life sucks, not just the pain when walking, but every area of my life is terrible.

Permanent:  A negative attitude causes the brain to interpret the situation is never going to change and is permanent.  In my case, my negative thoughts included starting to doubt if my foot was ever going to heal.  Will I always walk with pain?

So now it is time to reverse the 3 P's!

To dispute the Personal I have to tell myself that 99% of my negative thoughts are false.  I know I have worked hard trying to rehab my foot!  In my case, I have worked too hard at rehab and haven't let my foot rest and heal enough in-between therapy sessions.

To dispute the Pervasive I have to realize that everyone's life has injury and pain and just because I still have 3 more months of serious re-hab doesn't mean I still can't enjoy the parts of my life that are working well.  It is time to count my blessings once again

To dispute the Permanent I decided to Dr. Clouds's suggestion and make a list of things I can't control and compare it to the list of what I can control and then focus on the things I can control.  I mean, I do have control of some things, even if I have limited mobility. According to Dr. Cloud,  It's all about disputing the negative brain noise.

What I can't control
Bone healing
Amount of pain during healing
Amount of swelling
My sneaker not being able to fit
Walking with a limp
Walking with a cane
Using a handicap motorized cart while shopping at Target
Not being able to walk downstairs
Not being able to walk 1 block

What I can control
The amount of therapy I do each week
The amount of walking I endure
Stopping my activities and icing when I am in pain
My attitude
Finding activities that don't require mobility
Making someone smile at least once each day
Being grateful for all I do have and not focusing on what I don't have.

These lists are far from complete, but you get the general idea.  Thanks to Dr. Cloud, I have a brand new attitude and am now ready for the 2nd half of my lisfranc recovery period.

The above ideas were taken from Dr. Henry Cloud's talk at the Global Leadership Summit 2013 and were meant to explain the downward spirals of people in leadership and to provide a solution to get back on track.  If you would like to read Dr. Cloud's ideas without my interpretation for my personal journey they are included in his newest book:
"Boundaries for Leaders."  http://www.drcloud.com      http://www.drcloud.com/resources



Thursday, August 8, 2013

12 Weeks post lisfranc surgery

I have reached the 12 week post lisfranc surgery milestone....Three long months of recovery are now behind me.  My scar continues to fade and my swelling is minimal when I am not moving around trying to walk.

12 weeks post lisfranc surgery 
 I can even start to see the tendons in my toes once again!
12 Weeks post lisfranc surgery left side view
                             Even the swelling in my ankles is minimal
12 weeks post lisfranc surgery right side view
 My recovering foot still turns purple when not elevated.  My surgeon told me that when my foot stops turning colors, I will know it is completely healed.  I am waiting for that day!!!
12 weeks post lisfranc surgery comparison to my "normal" foot

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Returning to a Zen like state during lisfranc surgery recovery

Last evening was a tough night for me psychologically.  I had such high hopes that my lisfranc surgery recovery was almost over. After being so limited, mobility - wise, for such a long time,  I was really looking forward to resuming my normal routines.   

Mentally I had already started planning for what is left of summer with maybe a pool party or hosting a large family Labor Day party.  I  wanted to throw myself fully into fall life starting out with a fall vacation followed by long walks around our lakes looking at the fall colors.  I couldn't wait to be "out there" among the living once again.

After meeting with my surgeon and finding out that realistically I will not be walking comfortably for another 3 months,  my dreams crumbled.  I tried really hard to talk myself into the whole glass is half full thing which sounded very much like blah blah blah.  But no matter how many "it could be worse" scenarios I could envision,  I had to come to grips that I was overwhelmed by disappointment.

When my husband walked through the door, I burst into tears which had been building all day.  I asked him not to "fix" my pain, but to just hold me and let me share my disappointment with him.  I think the amount of tears stunned him into doing the guy thing complete with a pep talk and telling me I was going to prove my surgeon wrong etc.  He was trying to help, but it made me feel worse.  I felt very alone in my grief.

This morning I woke up and knew that in order to survive the next 12 weeks, I was going to have to  re-enter my Zen mode of survival which I used during my 6 weeks of complete non weight bearing recovery period.  During that time, I can remember pulling into myself and learning to listen to my thoughts and emotions.  I was in my own little world since I had no power to enter the world of moving, active people.  My personal thoughts and emotions became more real to me than the outside world that I watched from my windows.  I was completely dependent on others for all of my needs, even my basic needs.

To try to achieve a partial Zen like sate I started out my day with a 90 minute massage and a good conversation with my massage therapist.  Turns out that she is also a psychologist and understood exactly what I was trying to accomplish with my massage.

I have now re-entered my Zen mode, slowing my life down once again.  It won't be as intense as it was during my complete non weight bearing period, but this peaceful state of mind will prove to be just as useful.

I am slowly letting go of my fall plans and tonight I was even able to deal with the fact that I will be missing quite a few of the Vikings home games.  Our season tickets are 8 rows off the field and there is no way I can handle the steps or the amount of walking it would take to attend.  I have already started planning on who to give the tickets to, and have even enjoyed thinking about how the different people might find joy in attending a Vikings game.



lisfranc silver lining during recovery


After receiving the news from my surgeon that at 12 weeks post lisfranc surgery I was only 1/2 way through with my recovery, I was really bummed.  Before leaving my surgeon's office, I asked his office manager about an extension for my disabled persons parking pass.  My current parking pass expires at the end of August.




Since my next appointment isn't for 12 more weeks (October 29th) she was able to extend my parking permit into 2014!  I am happy for this small silver lining in what was otherwise a very dark day.  While I would rather have the gift of pain free walking, at least my new car will continue to be protected from door nicks!

12 weeks post lisfranc surgery X-rays

12 weeks post lisfranc surgery repair X-ray


Yesterday I met with  my surgeon for my three month post lisfranc surgery appointment.  It was depressing to learn that I have 3 more months of recovery until I can walk comfortably again.

The good news is that the current X-rays show that I don't have any stress fractures.





12 weeks post lisfranc surgery X-ray outside left side view

The X-rays also show that my joints are starting to fuse the way they are supposed to at this point in recovery.  My surgeon showed me my current X-rays and compared them to the ones taken 6 weeks ago:





12 Weeks post lisfranc repair X-Ray.  You can clearly see the joints around the prosthetic starting to fuse.

6 weeks post lisfranc surgery repair X-ray.  Joints have not started to fuse.



Meeting with my surgeon 12 weeks post lisfranc surgery

I was really looking forward to seeing my surgeon yesterday for my 12 week post lisfranc surgery follow up.  Armed with my list of questions and notes from my HydroWorx therapist, I was well prepared for my appointment.  I even went as far as to have a fresh pedicure with hot pink toe nail polish to match my sneakers.  

I was fully expecting my surgeon to be extremely pleased with my progress and tell me I was way ahead of schedule.  After all, I have been attending either HydroWorx therapy or physical land therapy 6 days a week, plus performing my at home exercises given to me by my physical therapist.  I knew I had worked hard these last 6 weeks and was well on my way to pain free walking again. I expected my surgeons  full endorsement and recognition of my progress.

After I arrived, I was escorted into my patient room where I removed my boot and headed to the X-ray room in my stocking feet.  I was in more pain than other days, so I did have to use my cane, but I kept up with the X-ray technicians gait which made me smile proudly to myself.

I was able to step up easily on the X-ray pad without difficulty and even mentioned to the technician how much easier it was for me this time as compared to 6 weeks ago.

Shortly after returning to my room, my surgeon walked in.  He sat in his chair and said, "you are still limping quite a bit."  I was surprised he knew.  After all, I fully intended to demonstrate walking without a limp so that my surgeon could see my gait during the times I am not experiencing pain.  BUSTED!!!
 Apparently, he had observed me walking to his X-ray room.  (I guess that is the best time to asses a patient is when he or she does not know he/she is being watched. )

I then admitted I was experiencing pain when walking and asked him realistically when I could expect to be able to walk down our driveway, which is a steep hill, and pick up my mail pain free.  Not running or jumping or anything fancy, just pain free walking doing everyday activities.

My surgeon said realistically it will be 3 more months until I can walk comfortably.  I was stunned and I started to feel my world shatter once again. I had to try hard not to burst into tears, which most certainly would have embarrassed us both. 

I sat quietly with this information for a few moments, not wanting to meet his gaze.  When I collected myself I looked up at him and repeated quietly   "three more months???"  He nodded slowly maintaing eye contact.  (My surgeon is quiet, gentle and a man of few words.)

Desperate for my surgeon to revise the remaining three months of recovery to something shorter, I asked him if he had a chance to read my physical therapist report and the report from the HydroWorx therapist.  I thought certainly he must not have had time to read the glowing endorsements from both modes of therapy.  

(Hint to my surgeon,  this the part where you are  supposed to "pat me on the head" and tell me what a good girl I've been!!! )  My surgeon didn't get the hint.  Instead he nodded quickly and asked me why I was in such a hurry?   I said, I was determined to walk like a normal person again and that I was tired of the lisfranc recovery.  

We briefly discussed stress fractures and I found out it would not be uncommon for that to happen during this period, especially if I am pushing myself too hard.  My surgeon said I needed to cut down on the amount of therapy and just relax and give my body a chance to heal.  "Healing takes time and cannot be rushed," he said.   He looked at me long enough to make sure I understood and then he smiled and said, "look at it this way, you are half way there."

I slowly nodded still trying to comprehend that I am not almost at the finish line but am only halfway through this journey. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

11 weeks post lisfranc surgery



 Wow!  Has this ever been a long journey!  But it some ways, it has also gone by quickly.  I cannot believe that today marks 11 weeks since my lisfranc surgery fracture repair!  



  
11 Weeks post lisfranc surgery

My physical therapist told me today that my foot is well on the way to healing and that I might possibly be able to give up my boot next week when I reach 12 weeks post surgery.  I am still walking with my cane and sneakers around my house and using a cane with my boot when I am away from home.  My foot doesn't ache all the time anymore, and I am finding that walking is almost pain free at times. 

11 weeks post lisfranc surgery left side view


I paid my surgery bill today and actually told the administrative assistant that I thought my surgeon didn't charge enough!  After all, my surgeon is the reason I can walk!  She laughed and said she had never heard that comment about a bill before!

11 weeks post lisfranc surgery right side view

Here is a close up of my lisfranc surgery scar at 11 weeks.  I am starting to think I really will have a life after my lisfranc injury and surgery!


lisfranc surgery scar at 11 weeks post op

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Weekly Lisfranc Surgery images during recovery


 Lisfranc photo recovery journal week by week

Lisfranc surgery image day 5 OUCH!
Lisfranc surgery image day 11 - still in a cast 
Lisfranc surgery image week 2 after cast removal


lisfranc surgery image after stitches were removed week 2












Lisfranc surgery image week 4
Lisfranc surgery image week 5

lisfranc surgery image week 6


                                                            Lisfranc surgery image week 7



Lisfranc surgery image Week 8
Lisfranc surgery image week 9
Lisfranc surgery image week 10
lisfranc surgery image week 11


At week 12, my recovering foot still turns purple.   I will know when it is completely healed when it stops changing color.

Lisfranc surgery image week 12


Lisfranc surgery image week 13



Lisfranc surgery image week 14


Lisfranc surgery image week 15

lisfranc surgery image week 16


Lisfranc surgery image week 17
walking on the treadmill 2 times a week at 1.5 miles per hour for 5 
minutes 


Lisfranc surgery image week 18
I am pain free when my physical therapist manipulates and massages my foot 







Lisfranc surgery image week 19









lisfranc surgery image week 20
lisfranc surgery image week 21


lisfranc surgery image week 22

lisfranc surgery image week 23

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Lisfranc recovery encouragement


I am so excited to find out that Maurice Jones-Drew will be back playing football this season!  I started following Jones-Drew's recovery closely after finding out he had lisfranc surgery on Dec 28th, 2012.  His return to full running back status has given me hope that I will indeed one day walk normally again without pain.  

I am nowhere near professional athlete status and knowing that Jones-Drew had lisfranc surgery, dealt with the long painful recovery and is now actually playing football again is inspiring.  Congratulations Maurice Jones-Drew!

(The following article was posted on espn.news...... click on Maurice Jones-Drew's name if you want to see the actual article on espn's website.

Maurice Jones-Drew has been cleared by the Jacksonville Jaguars' medical staff to participate in training camp, although he will be brought along slowly, coach Gus Bradley said Tuesday.
"We're extremely excited about the progress he has made," Bradley told reporters.
The 28-year-old Jones-Drew missed 10 games in 2012 because of a Lisfranc injury to his left foot. The running back underwent surgery in December and spent several months in a walking boot.
"Now, it's back to football," Jones-Drew told reporters. "It's been a long time coming. I'm excited to be out there running around and playing."
He said he was training during his rehab "like I wasn't hurt."

Jones-DrewNow, it s back to football. It's been a long time coming. I'm excited to be out there running around and playing.
-- Maurice Jones-Drew

Lisfranc surgery scar

I am10 weeks into recovery from lisfranc surgery and now I am noticing how ugly my  scar is!  I guess I never thought about it before now because I was concentrating so hard on coping with recovery pain and learning to walk again.

My physical therapist suggested vitamin E oil, so I am going to start applying that daily to my scar and see what happens.  If anyone else knows of something to make a scar less noticeable, please post it on my blog!

It is kind of nice arriving at this point, where my biggest concern is scarring!!!

lisfranc surgery scar 10 weeks post op

lisfranc surgery scar 10 weeks post op

Sunday, July 21, 2013

10 weeks post lisfranc surgery



10 exhausting painful weeks of lisfranc surgery recovery are finally behind me! 













This week my physical therapist told me I am doing too much physical therapy.  I have been going to the HydroWorx pool 6 days a week, and taking land physical therapy 2 days a week.  In addition I have been doing my at home exercises twice a day and most days I have been  practicing walking in our pool at home.  By Friday it was painful to do anything at all related to walking.

I have been forced to take the week-end off from all therapy and give my foot a chance to calm down.  In my eagerness to be normal again, I have overdone my recovery and have pushed too hard, too fast.   I have to turn down my enthusiasm and admit to myself I cannot speed up the healing process.  Patience with my foot has been the hardest thing for me to learn during this arduous recovery phase.

10 weeks post lisfranc surgery