19 weeks post lisfranc surgery

19 weeks after lisfranc surgery scar

This week has been a rough, painful week.  Every step I took, even in sneakers, caused a sharp, shooting pain in my mid-foot.  What bothered me the most was that my foot continued to have intermittent shooting pain even when at rest.

I know my tendency  is to overwork my foot, so I cut out HydroWorx water therapy.  I was not able to do my home therapy exercises and painfully made it through necessary daily activities.

I was really looking forward to my physical therapy appointment so that I could discuss the possibility that I may have sustained a stress fracture. During my appointment my therapist compared my recovering foot's flexibility with my "normal foot." As he manipulated my recovering foot he noted my muscles in my foot were very stiff and not as flexible as last week.  

While pressing on various parts of my foot he and I discussed at length the type of pain I was having making me clarify exactly where I was having pain.  He made me differentiate between aching, shooting pain and just being stiff.  When he forcefully pressed his thumbs underneath my foot, tears sprung to my eyes. 

 I looked up at him and he said, "I guess that hurt, right?"  

I said, "You have never hurt me before, so it took me by surprise."

As he continued to test areas of my foot for amount of pain, I learned to be a little more vocal about the pain level number I was experiencing while he pressed.  

After a few minutes he took both his hands and squeezed my foot, scrunching all my toes together.  I realized he wasn't looking at my foot anymore and was watching me carefully for my reaction. 

I smiled at him and said, "now that doesn't hurt at all."

He smiled back and said, "good, that means you do not have a stress fracture." 

 He went on to say that if I did have a stress fracture, I would have probably kicked him when he squeezed my foot with that amount of pressure.   I assured him I would never kick him, but he did make his point.  I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me.  

lisfranc physical therapy

Together as we talked, we discovered the pain I was experiencing was a lot like when you get a charlie horse in your calf, only mine was in my mid-foot.  That is why my pain continued intermittently even at rest.  I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  What I was experienceing was overworking of the muscles in my foot which is a normal part of walking again!!!  

19 Weeks post lisfranc surgery

19 Weeks post lisfranc surgery image right side

Ready to take on the 2nd half of my lisfranc journey

Yesterday, my husband and I attended the Global Leadership Summit and one of the speakers we heard was Dr. Henry Cloud.  Dr. Cloud is a famous  psychologist who wrote the 4 million best seller "Boundaries." 

 http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454  


His topic yesterday was taken from his newest book, "Boundaries for Leaders."  While the topic specifically targeted C level people (CEO's, CFO's etc) I couldn't help but apply his ideas to my lisfranc recovery situation.  

I realized that after hearing my surgeon tell me I still had 3 more months of recovery in front of me my sadness and grief came from a sense of loss of control.  After all, I was taught that A + B = C.  In my reality, that would mean therapy plus ice/elevation = healing.  My thought was the harder I worked, the better outcome I would have.  I never considered the one thing I couldn't control......healing.  Bones take time to heal.  That is something I cannot speed up, no matter how much therapy I do.  And I cannot control the amount of pain I have either as my foot continues to adjust to the titanium plate drilled into my foot. 

The loss of control is what started my downward spiral in attitude on Tuesday.  Did you know that when you start the attitude spiral decent that your actual brain starts to change?  Dr. Cloud explained his theory of the 3 P's:

Personal:  A negative attitude causes the brain to interpret the situation in a personal way.  In my case my negative thoughts started telling me I'm not good enough or that I haven't worked hard enough to "earn" pain free walking.

Pervasive: A negative attitude causes the brain to interpret the situation as all encompassing.  In my case my negative thoughts include saying my whole life sucks, not just the pain when walking, but every area of my life is terrible.

Permanent:  A negative attitude causes the brain to interpret the situation is never going to change and is permanent.  In my case, my negative thoughts included starting to doubt if my foot was ever going to heal.  Will I always walk with pain?

So now it is time to reverse the 3 P's!

To dispute the Personal I have to tell myself that 99% of my negative thoughts are false.  I know I have worked hard trying to rehab my foot!  In my case, I have worked too hard at rehab and haven't let my foot rest and heal enough in-between therapy sessions.

To dispute the Pervasive I have to realize that everyone's life has injury and pain and just because I still have 3 more months of serious re-hab doesn't mean I still can't enjoy the parts of my life that are working well.  It is time to count my blessings once again

To dispute the Permanent I decided to Dr. Clouds's suggestion and make a list of things I can't control and compare it to the list of what I can control and then focus on the things I can control.  I mean, I do have control of some things, even if I have limited mobility. According to Dr. Cloud,  It's all about disputing the negative brain noise.

What I can't control
Bone healing
Amount of pain during healing
Amount of swelling
My sneaker not being able to fit
Walking with a limp
Walking with a cane
Using a handicap motorized cart while shopping at Target
Not being able to walk downstairs
Not being able to walk 1 block

What I can control
The amount of therapy I do each week
The amount of walking I endure
Stopping my activities and icing when I am in pain
My attitude
Finding activities that don't require mobility
Making someone smile at least once each day
Being grateful for all I do have and not focusing on what I don't have.

These lists are far from complete, but you get the general idea.  Thanks to Dr. Cloud, I have a brand new attitude and am now ready for the 2nd half of my lisfranc recovery period.

The above ideas were taken from Dr. Henry Cloud's talk at the Global Leadership Summit 2013 and were meant to explain the downward spirals of people in leadership and to provide a solution to get back on track.  If you would like to read Dr. Cloud's ideas without my interpretation for my personal journey they are included in his newest book:
"Boundaries for Leaders."  http://www.drcloud.com      http://www.drcloud.com/resources

Returning to a Zen like state during lisfranc surgery recovery

Last evening was a tough night for me psychologically.  I had such high hopes that my lisfranc surgery recovery was almost over. After being so limited, mobility - wise, for such a long time,  I was really looking forward to resuming my normal routines.   

Mentally I had already started planning for what is left of summer with maybe a pool party or hosting a large family Labor Day party.  I  wanted to throw myself fully into fall life starting out with a fall vacation followed by long walks around our lakes looking at the fall colors.  I couldn't wait to be "out there" among the living once again.

After meeting with my surgeon and finding out that realistically I will not be walking comfortably for another 3 months,  my dreams crumbled.  I tried really hard to talk myself into the whole glass is half full thing which sounded very much like blah blah blah.  But no matter how many "it could be worse" scenarios I could envision,  I had to come to grips that I was overwhelmed by disappointment.

When my husband walked through the door, I burst into tears which had been building all day.  I asked him not to "fix" my pain, but to just hold me and let me share my disappointment with him.  I think the amount of tears stunned him into doing the guy thing complete with a pep talk and telling me I was going to prove my surgeon wrong etc.  He was trying to help, but it made me feel worse.  I felt very alone in my grief.

This morning I woke up and knew that in order to survive the next 12 weeks, I was going to have to  re-enter my Zen mode of survival which I used during my 6 weeks of complete non weight bearing recovery period.  During that time, I can remember pulling into myself and learning to listen to my thoughts and emotions.  I was in my own little world since I had no power to enter the world of moving, active people.  My personal thoughts and emotions became more real to me than the outside world that I watched from my windows.  I was completely dependent on others for all of my needs, even my basic needs.

To try to achieve a partial Zen like sate I started out my day with a 90 minute massage and a good conversation with my massage therapist.  Turns out that she is also a psychologist and understood exactly what I was trying to accomplish with my massage.

I have now re-entered my Zen mode, slowing my life down once again.  It won't be as intense as it was during my complete non weight bearing period, but this peaceful state of mind will prove to be just as useful.

I am slowly letting go of my fall plans and tonight I was even able to deal with the fact that I will be missing quite a few of the Vikings home games.  Our season tickets are 8 rows off the field and there is no way I can handle the steps or the amount of walking it would take to attend.  I have already started planning on who to give the tickets to, and have even enjoyed thinking about how the different people might find joy in attending a Vikings game.

Accelerated recovery from lisfranc surgery using HydroWorx therapy

I have been doing 30 minutes a day of HydroWorx therapy 6 days a week and have made monumental leaps forward in my lisfranc surgery recovery!

The HydroWorx therapy pool's floor is an elevator which slowly lowers to the desired water level.  The higher the water level, the less weight on my recovering foot.  

Click for more information on HydroWorx Therapy pools
http://www.silvercrestproperties.com/node/459

The floor of the HydroWorx pool is a treadmill with adjustable speed.  I have found if I let the treadmill do the work, my recovering foot will naturally make the correct motions for walking.


There are cameras in the HydroWorx pool so that my sports therapist and I can check to see if I am making the correct walking motions with both feet.  We found that when it is painful to put weight on my recovering foot, I compensate by moving my "normal" foot incorrectly as well. 

 The camera's allow her to point out what I am doing incorrectly, so that I can make the right adjustments.  

Click for more information on HydroWorx therapy pools
http://www.silvercrestproperties.com/node/459

  
This week I have been able to walk correctly (under water) and be completely PAIN FREE!!